It's the MOST Delicious Time of the Year

So there I was at Hudson's Hamburgers in downtown Coeur d' Alene, Idaho minding my own business,  appreciating the fact that the joint feels like a bar but only serves burgers.  I was thinking about maybe having some pie when a colorful local--they're all colorful here-- says, "You know, it's only 84 days until Christmas."  

A slice of heaven in the Idaho panhandle

WHAT??!!

No menu, just hamburgers and pie.

Hamburgers, no whiskey

That can't be.  Quickly I do the math and decide that the son-of-a-bitch is right.  My, so far, perfect day has now been ruined by this clown.  I decide to have a piece of coconut cream pie to make it all go away.  This place, Hudson's, by the way is the home of truly terrific burgers.  It's roadside diner food that is now being purveyed by the fourth generation of Hudsons  here in one of the most spectacular regions of the country.  Don't ask for a menu.  There isn't one.  Hamburgers, with or without cheese, come with a smile, pickle and onion.  Help yourself to mustard, ketchup, spicy mustard, or spicy ketchup.  Top it off with a piece of pie and life makes sense.

Sated, I pay up, exit Hudson's and amble down Sherman Avenue, Coeur d' Alene's main drag.  As I stroll I remember that my wife and I started seeing Christmas decorations at Costco sometime in August and complained that this was becoming the norm.  What about Thanksgiving??  My mom, in her sunset years, became so angry about America's traditional day of thanks getting lost in the Christmas hurry up, began sending out Thanksgiving cards instead of Christmas greetings.  I sort of agreed with her but, since turkey doesn't do it for me, let the protest slide.  But now here we are losing another tradition in our rush to Ho Ho holiday time.

What about Halloween?  Where is the candy??!!  I've seen some displays in grocery stores and discount emporiums but have they been as prevalent this year?    I conclude that I'm not sure.   As I recall, our house is generally loaded to the gunwales with gut busting chocolate, candy corn, jolly ranchers, licorice whips, Baby Ruths, Milky Ways, Snickers and other delicious booty by this time every year.  Am I slipping?  Yes, of course I am, but NOT when it comes to my candy.

The whole purpose of early Halloween candy shopping--and don't breathe a word of this to my wife--is to have plenty of the good tooth rotting stuff around to shamelessly pilfer  before the calendar requires doling it out to the pint sized pirates  in the 'hood come the 31st.  Why should they have all the fun?  After all, opportunity knocks but once while temptation leans on the doorbell.

Damnit!  I need to start buying sugary snacky goodness pronto dante!  As it is, I already have a difficult time fending off my candy loving son-in-law and have deemed it necessary to establish diversionary secret supplies around the house just for his visits.  (Little does he know that I only hide last year's leftover treats in places he can ferret out, thus solving any problems with 2013 inventory.) 

You know what…

I just flashed on a wonderful idea for all the little tykes within Halloween distance of the old Copper manse.  This year I'm putting the kids first!  No more sugar badness for my little friends.  In 2013, as a service to their parents and dentists, I will hand out nothing but healthy goodies to the kiddies.  Brussel sprouts, broccoli, carrots, beets, cauliflower, radishes, and rutabagas  are going into the sacks of the little beggars.  And, for those demonstrating neglected dentistry, brand new toothbrushes and tooth paste will be provided by kindly Old Man Copper!  

There, I feel better already.  Now, if you can just hand me that Snickers bar, I'll show you how I can make it disappear.
The little nippers will thank me one day.
Happy Halloween kiddies!!  Put your candy in the old guy's hands,  help yourself to some delicious vegetables and NO ONE WILL GET HURT.

I'll sacrifice my teeth for the children's sake.