Bloody Mary? Bloody Crime!

A bloody crime!

Nothing exceeds like excess and there is excessive mischief going on in the world of adult beverages.  With stealth and a persistent effort to top each other, bartenders nationwide have taken to turning the most dependable and heretofore delightful eyeopener, the Bloody Mary, and created something very close to brunch at Caesar's Palace.  Whole chickens, hamburgers, skewers of shrimp,  assorted vegetables and scotched eggs are being jammed into perfectly good and, until now,  wonderfully simple tomato juice and vodka combinations.  These $50 and $60 abominations sport cutesy names like: Monster Mary and Chubby Mary.  Spot on monikers but lousy cocktails!

Where's the dog?

Why do some people feel it necessary to mess with perfection?  A Bloody Mary should be easy enough for shaky hands recovering from the previous night's debauch to prepare with ease.  As a public service this blog is ready to demonstrate proper Bloody Mary making simple enough for even the most intellectually challenged of us to master.  Don't mess this up!

All American Bloody Mary!

cocktail prep

If you have chicken, hamburgers, shrimp and other foods carefully prepared, put them on a plate and give them to the dog.  All you'll need for a perfect Bloody Mary is booze and some form of tomato.
For this demonstration I found myself without tomato juice and found that it really didn't matter.  A couple of tomatoes or maybe a splash of ketchup should do the trick.

Any vodka, tequila or gin will suffice as your basic cocktail building block. (NEVER RUM!)  A couple of ice cubes will give the drink a bit of a chill but always beware of using too much ice as it can promote choking.  Fewer ice cubes also promotes safer drinking and walking as the beverage will have a "see through" patina to it.  (Safety first!)

I hope you have been taking good notes as the weekend is here and it's time to put on your party pants.  If you've followed my directions correctly, you have the perfect tall and frosty Bloody Mary containing all the essentials of sloth, envy, greed and delusions of grandeur needed for the perfect weekend drink.  I give you, the"See Through Mary".

Cheers! See you in re-hab!