You've Come A Long Way Baby! Wobble Water For Women...

My mother never drank much.  I can only recall my parents having a couple of drinks with friends maybe once a week and usually on a Friday or a Saturday evening.  What struck me as strange was mom's penchant for drinking whiskey, usually a blended Canadian or a Kentucky bourbon, neat.  Outside of a rare fling with a daiquiri she avoided the sweet "girly" libations and stuck with "three fingers" of sippin' whiskey.  A classy move all the way.

This recollection was prompted by the March 1st introduction of Jane Walker scotch by the makers of Johnny Walker and numerous other adult libations, the Diegeo Company.  Their press release stated the objectives of the new product like this: "In recognition of women who lead the way, we are unveiling Jane Walker, the first ever female iteration of the brand's iconic Striding Man logo.  Jane Walker is the celebration of the many achievements of women and a symbol of empowerment for all those on the journey towards progress in gender equality."  Wow!  How's that for mansplaining? In a nod to that equality, Jane Walker has not been powered down for the more delicate feminine constitution.  Nope, it packs the same wallop of brother Johnny.  It's genuine double rectified bust head guaranteed to get you just as loud and obnoxious as the boys.  It packs all of the promised essentials of the whiskey food group: sloth, envy, greed and delusions of grander all in a gorgeous looking bottle.

It's good to know that Diageo is donating $1 from the sale of each bottle to women's causes and that, come next month, 50% of the company's board of directors seats will be held by women.  Both are enlightened moves by a management team that has obviously done some homework.  

How this experiment goes is anybody's guess.  At present only 30% of scotch drinkers are female.  A bump up to 50% would be huge and presumably it would make Jane Walker a lock for future promotion.  This much I do know, mom would give it a pass.  "Tastes like fly spray", was her answer to a proffer of scotch.  Perhaps we should have been keeping a closer eye on that can of Raid in the garage?  

I'd be interested to hear from women who are willing to give this new hooch a try.  Single guys might want to date it too. (Less maintenance.) Here's to equal opportunity impairment! Remember not to fly that 747 after an evening with Jane.  Don't worry, you'll both pee just as much.