Ready For Some Football??

I should have known.  It's never a good idea to stop at Costco on a Friday before the Super Bowl.  Having paid little attention to the NFL this year because of the players' dopey "take a knee" protest, I am late and half-heartedly into Super Bowl frenzy.  It doesn't help that those of us who dwell west of the Mississippi have little rooting interest in teams representing old elitist stuck up cities like Boston and Philadelphia.  (Perhaps I've said too much?)

So, being in the vicinity and in need of snack replenishment, I sidled into a parking slot within a mile or two of the local Costco.  (I refuse to be one of those lazy lard ass slugs who circle the lot for hours looking for a spot close to the entrance. You know who you are!)  As I reached the front door I knew it had been a mistake of Dunkirk like proportions to storm Costco beach.  It was raining (natch!) and soaking wet customers were in abundance.  Undeterred, I grabbed a cart.  Oh the humanity!!!  Super Bowl snack material was stacked high in nearly every aisle and flannel shirted behemoths, male and female alike, were in full tilt bozo mode wheeling carts maniacally as they plowed through the demonstrations touting the wholesome goodness and gluten free wonderfulness of selected guacamole's, bean dips, salsas, chips, ice cream sandwiches, potato chips and countless other jumbo calorie laden treats necessary to sustain hours of TV watching.  Face it, we'd all starve watching the Super Bowl if it weren't for the chuck wagon sized craptacular  party snacking material.

It didn't take long for my intentions regarding the need to lose the five pounds slathered on to my carcass over the holidays to be forgotten.  As I entered the intersection of smoked meats and cheeses I was in full rationalization mode.  "Gee, I don't look as fat as that guy", was my mantra as I joined the adipose big top parade and began to load up the cart.  Who cares?  Let's all eat like we're going to "the chair"!  After all, I did buy a pair of aspirational pants (see "too small") as hard core incentive to really shape up after the big game.

Now, with snacks at the ready, I am prepared to give you the winner of this year's Super Bowl.  The Eagles will win it handily.  I just know it.  Of course the last time I was this sure of anything was in January of 1986 when I "knew" the Patriots would beat the Bears.  Unfortunately I lived in Las Vegas at the time and helped to keep the bookies at the Golden Nugget solvent.  (Bears 46-10 over the Patriots is forever etched on my frontal lobe.)

At last look the Patriots were favored by four points.  Tell you what, I'll take those points and the Eagles.  You can have the pants.