Now there is one more reason I'm happy to be retired. Holiday office parties, always a ready source of delightful misconduct, are on the verge of getting sent home in a cab by the growing posse of fun police determined to rid this great country of any and all behavior deemed "not PC". Human Resource nerds are now riding herd on the suddenly less than festive workplace end of year meet-ups like referees at a high school prom. No kissing, dirty dancing, faxing your ass to clients, or getting drunk and telling off the boss for today's employees. Why attend?! Half the fun was watching Marty and Larry get a skin full of booze and hit on the manager's wife while the big guy slipped off into a closet with his secretary. Bad behavior at its finest!
Perhaps it was because I toiled in the morally bankrupt world of broadcasting, but I can recall several yuletide office bacchanals that involved fist fights and broken bones. One party featured not only broken bones due to slippage by guests on several gallons of spilled punch but also the historical first squad car ride for some of the women in the sales department. You're welcome ladies. Good times!
Why have we become so damn averse to good not so clean Animal House fun? As a nation we used to be able to let the badger out a couple of times a year, but no more. Now the killjoys of political correctness have us lashed to the mast of good behavior and refuse to let us party down. I say we stop this nonsense right now! So what if you lose your job? It's the season to monkey around and the circus is still in town baby! I think I hear sirens.
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