The one thing about moving frequently is that it affords you the opportunity to compare the pluses and minuses of life in different parts of the country. I have now lived in eleven states and multiple cities in every part of America except New England. Boston was always on my list of potential homes as it was, and is, a very vibrant and competitive radio market, but, for whatever reason, timing and opportunity never came together. As a kid in the Midwest I would often have my transistor tuned to WBZ and could imagine the thrill of one day uttering "The Spirit of New England, WBZ Group W Westinghouse, Boston" at the top of the hour. What can I tell you? I was a weird kid and have no complaints. Cracking a mic on some legendary sticks in Tampa, San Diego and San Francisco ("K-101 is K eye oh eye, San Fraaaaancisco!") more than fulfilled my geeky Midwest boyhood dreams.
Lately, because this has been a strange year, I've found myself feeling homesick for...nowhere. It's just odd. I feel like there is someplace I need to be no matter where I happen to have myself planted at the time. The easy answer is that the loss of my wife nearly six months ago has caused me to lose my compass and, no doubt, there is a lot of truth to that, however, it seems like there is more. I suppose there is a price to be paid for leading a sort of rootless existence, though I'm hard pressed to put my finger on it. There is much to be learned from exposure to different people, climates and local traditions. True friends are always there if you want to keep them. My address book--yes I still use one--is loaded with folks I can't imagine never meeting and clinging to for life. They are like jewels you can count on for love, support and, most of all, laughs.
These thoughts were paramount as I flew north to Idaho after a recent visit to San Diego. It was good to feel the soft warm air of that southwestern most corner of America and even better to catch up with a few friends. The traffic I could have done without. San Diego was home for several years on two different occasions and it's always easy to slip back into old routines whenever I''m there. I'll head back for a radio reunion late next month and again in December for Christmas with daughter Katie and her family. For now I'm in Coeur D' Alene hoping for a beautiful Fall and some crisp pine scented air to go with it, but there is still something missing.
I have lined up several trips designed to keep me out of the cold this winter and am hopeful that they help me find some answers to this restlessness that won't go away.
A woman friend of long standing whom I admire and respect made the most obvious yet profound observation with regard to my situation. She said, "When you find your heart, then you'll be home." She may be on to something.
How did women get so damn smart?
